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The 2013 Eurovision Song Contest betting big hitters analysed

| 12.05.2013

With the smorgasbord of questionable geography and even more questionable songsmithery that is the Eurovision Song contest once again imminent, takes the brave step of analysing the ditties that make up the current top five in the betting (plus a mystery long shot that may just trump them all) for your punting edification. The Eurovision Song Contest betting is currently as follows: Denmark 11/8, Ukraine 3/1, Norway 13/2, Russia 12/1 and Italy 18/1.

Denmark – Emmelie De Forest – Only Teardrops

Shrewd operators the Danes, who have smuggled in some tin whistle in a bid to co-opt residual good will towards record seven-time winners Ireland. Their ditty owes a huge debt to Colombian nutter Shakira – right down to the nonsensical lyrics – but it’s forgettable melody took the lion’s share of the Organisation Générale des Amateurs de l’Eurovision fanclub pre-contest best song vote so it has to be taken seriously from a punting perspective.

Ukraine – Zlata Ognevich – Gravity

Zlata’s number starts off like a dull-as-dishwater ballad before a staccato backing arrives like a snooze alarm about 20 seconds in bring it back from the dead. More key changes than a bail hostel drinks cabinet give it a disorientating feel, whilst the lack of a real chorus means you won’t be whistling this one on the way to a mid-song toilet-break which comes highly recommended.

Norway – Margaret Berger – I Feed You My Love

Good work getting a woman called Berger to sing a song about feeding, very good indeed, but the lyrics sadly fail to elaborate upon exactly what it means to feed someone your love. The synth sound on this one is surely suicidally modern for Eurovision, despite the fact that it sounds like one of Evanescence’s more “experimental” b sides – plodding.

Russia – Dina Garipova – What If

Dina’s a dead-ringer for terrifying arch-capitalist Ruth Badger from the second series of The Apprentice, so it’s a surprise to see her knocking out the kind of sub-‘Imagine’ peace and love clap trap that went out of fashion three days into the first summer of love.

Italy – Marco Mengoni – L’essenziale

The language is a bad start with 38 of the 58 previous winners crooned in English or French, but my word Marco’s a handsome fella, in a weedy George Clooney kind of fashion. The vehicle for his charms is a stripped back acoustic cut devoid of any real hooks, but enjoyable for Senor Mengoni’s kooky facial gymnastics (he even mouths along to the guitar solo…what a dreamboat!).

San Marino – Valentina Monetta – Crisalide (Vola)

An offensively average song from the self-styled “oldest sovereign state in the world” included in our list because, despite coming second to Denmark’s offering in the Organisation Générale des Amateurs de l’Eurovision pole, San Marino are available at juicy 33/1 in Coral’s Eurovision Song Contest betting. A costume change which echoes the song’s Butterfly/Chrysalis theme is a classy nod to Bucks Fizz that’ll have the all the big Eurovision heads purring with approval.